So. Have decided I’m gonna buy one of three e-scooters, all in the general $1300 to $1400 MSRP price range. I’ll leave the scooter/distributor names out of this in order to protect the guilty.

Now, the distributor for the scooter I’m looking at as the #1 choice on me list, tells me they won’t ship the product to me for 3 to 4 weeks AFTER I pay up front for it – which seems really odd to me in the year 2021 and a world where Amazon Prime can get a $10,000 order to me in 2 days.

When I ask a rep there if this “3 to 4” weeks delivery time MIGHT STRETCH into 8 or 9 weeks (because I will not wait two months for ANY product I’ve paid up front for including eternal salvation) they will not give me a firm answer that the longer wait period will NOT happen.

Uh-oh. Red flag there. Ergo that tells me it could indeed be a 2 month stretch. Reps at my #2 choice scooter place say they can ship that bad boy out in a couple days after I orders it and pays up front fer it.

Now the question is this and I believe only the experts at ESG know the answer because you guys appear to REALLY KNOW this industry inside and out, which I appreciate.

You folks is the real deal, the actual Oracles at Delphi, the Living Ekk Masters in the e-scooter biz and every low life human (including this one) should bow down to you and grovel a lot. (I think)

So seriously now. Are both reps at both distributor joints blowing blue smoke up where the moon don’t shine on me beautiful tanned body when it comes to those delivery times?

Could the first outfit actually take a couple months to get that thing to me and could the outfit that says “ships in a couple days” actually be getting me that scooter in 3 to 4 to 6 weeks?

I mean, let’s be honest here, shall we?. There a humpload of companies that will gladly tell somebody on the phone or in an email virtually anything that prospect wants to hear in order to get a pre-paid $1400 sale online, sight unseen, no hassles, no salesperson’s time invested, etc.

That kind of easy money over the phone or online is manna from heaven in the real world of bricks and mortar capitalism where companies have to fight for your business.

So what say ESG experts? What’s the real skinny these days on actual delivery times if you order and pre-pay online.

Yer pal and fawning servant,

Bubba

P.S. I tried to find a local scooter store to support and buy from in my area of Washington state where I live (keep the $$ local ya know whenever you can) and I could not find a single e-scooter store or bike shop or motorcycle outlet selling stand up e-scooters. How pathetic is that? I may write my Congressman. This smacks of a socialist plot.